Marriage 101

Nov 26, 2013 No Comments by

5 Unexpected Challenges Newlyweds Face And How To Compromise


Being a newlywed is one of the most exciting times in life, but it doesn’t come without its challenges.

Be prepared to make some changes and work through issues together as a couple. Here are a few difficulties newlyweds face, and what you can do to compromise and work through the issues:


Recreational Time


Dating is over. Maybe the two of you enjoy the same leisure activities or feel the same about what proportion of the weekend should be spent on active fun, couch potato time, chores, sleeping, yard work, paperwork and more. However, many newlyweds realize the time spent doing these things is a huge source of stress in finding their rhythm as a married couple. Talk about it early and know each other’s needs and expectations. Learning to compromise is crucial. Just because you are used to spending your entire Saturday cleaning and shopping to get ready for the week, doesn’t mean it can’t be done on other days just as effectively. Look at what’s important, and make sure you both make time to do what you need and want.


Setting Up Your Shared Home


If you’re moving in together for the first time, you may have some 5 Unexpected Challenges Newlyweds Face photo credit Anita Ginsburgadjusting to do to get used to each other’s stuff. Hopefully, your styles can mesh, or adjust, without too much effort. You can expect a “discussion” about where the recliner can live, what dishes you will used, or what decorations to hang in the home. Almost inevitably, there will be more furniture and other items in your two separate lives than you will be able to fit in your combined home. While this is an opportunity to do some healthy purging, getting married is stressful enough without having to decide forever what to keep. Using Extra Storage Space is a great way to store what you don’t need right now, but want to have for a future home or for a later time. A self-storage facility is a great compromise to hold those extra things until your home is larger.




Deciding who does what chores, and when, may seem trivial. The fact is, if it’s not discussed now, it will be come a problem. Start with figuring out what you don’t mind doing, and what you really hate cleaning. Make a list of the chores you like and don’t like and compare — assign accordingly and try to share fairly the ones you both don’t enjoy, or do some of them together. Some couples choose to clean everything together, or clean on different days. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s agreed upon by both you and your spouse to avoid resentment.




If you’ve both had jobs, you’re used to making your own decisions about what to buy. Being married means having a certain amount of accountability to your spouse for shared financial decisions. Agree in advance whether you’re pooling all of your income and jointly making all monetary decisions or whether each of you may keep a separate account. In any case, decide how much autonomy each spouse should have to avoid future problems.




Even if you get along really will with your in-laws, there will still be some misunderstandings and decisions to be made. If you live close to your parents or your spouse’s parents, how much time will you spend with them? Make sure in-laws on both sides of the family know your boundaries on if and when they can show at your home unannounced. Holidays are also a big concern that should be decided early. Knowing who you are spending the holidays with, or what holidays, is critical for everyone involved. If in-laws know expectations from the start, there will be less of a chance of hurt feelings.


Don’t let these things scare you from getting married or enjoying your time with your partner as a newlywed. If these discussions are addressed early, you will be able to avoid conflict and misunderstandings that lead to arguments. Be prepared to work through challenges together, and you and your partner will both be happier.

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