Making sure you have everything sorted for your wedding is essential – just as making sure you and your fiance have everything sorted BEFORE you get married is vital!
An engagement is a time of planning and wonder, thinking seriously about making a life commitment, and getting closer to a life partner. That said, too often people fully rely on trust, assuming their new partner will never do wrong because love is that strong. Then, a year or a few years into marriage, a piece of the past comes out, and everything changes. A partner feels lied to, deceived, and used. A fundamental trust that makes a marriage strong is broken early on, being very hard to mend again quickly.
As a result, some hard questions a critical to ask a fiance early on, to not only get the issue out of the way but to also make sure both partners are going into the marriage with eyes wide open. These items include:
• Religious Background – There are three things people say never to talk about during dinner talk, and religion is one of them. But religion is a critical issue to know about and discuss because it has such a fundamental influence on how a partner behaves, individually and with others. If religion is going to be a major conflict, a marriage disaster may be better off avoided and instead replaced with a long-term relationship.
• Having Children – Many assume having children will be an eventual result of a marriage. However, it may not be possible or wanted by one partner or the other. Discussing this topic ahead of time is critical, because it can shape how partners perceive each other later on in marriage. Sometimes it can simply be an issue of when to have children versus if. Discussing the matter gets it out in the open versus being a surprise deep into a marriage.
• Debts, Liabilities, and Income Expectations – Money tends to be one of the top three issues that causes fighting in a marriage. Engaged partners are well-served to know and agree on what income to expect, what will be achieved, and what liabilities are coming into a marriage. Good coordination can in fact improve financial management, such as seeking help together from a credit repair company, but hiding debt secrets can be devastating. LexingtonLaw.com can help you and your fiance with that.
• Past Sins – Lots of folks are less than perfect in their younger years, but some have gotten into more trouble than normal. It’s only fair to a fiance’ that a partner finds the time to disclose a criminal past if its exists. If kept hiding, these issues have a way of coming up at the worst times, making the innocent partner feel lied to later on.
There are many other issues that should be discussed as well, reinforcing the fact that engaged partners should be fully open with each other as the big date arrives. No one should go into a life-sharing union blind. Hiding secrets prior to marriage is unethical, unfair and it can be the reason a marriage ultimately fails.