Deciphering Personal/Singles Ads

It’s a jungle out there anyway meeting the man or woman of your dreams without having to contend with Personal Ads that don’t always mean what they say. These helpful translations will help clear up any confusion in your mind before you decide to meet someone. Here are some of our favorite Personal/Singles/Dating Ad Translations

ADVENTUROUS:
He’s slept with everyone

AFFECTIONATE:
Horny

A GOOD SPORT:
She knows hundreds of jokes & can drink you under the table

A GREAT DANCER:
She’s a Stripper

ASSERTIVE:
Pushy with a mean streak

ATHLETIC:
Small Breasts

BEAUTIFUL:
Pathological liar

BEEN IN SHOW BUSINESS:
She’s a former porn movie star

CASUAL:
He dresses like a slob

CHATTY:
Never shuts up

EMOTIONALLY SECURE:
On medication

EXCITED ABOUT LIFE’S JOURNEY:
No concept of reality

FEMINIST:
Over weight

FINANCIALLY SECURE:
Has a job

FREE SPIRITED:
Crazy and irresponsible

FREEDOM LOVING:
Undependable

HIGH SPIRITED:
Crazy, hyperactive, and throws things

HUMOROUS:
Watches too much TV and never shuts up

INDEPENDENT THINKER:
Crazy

KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE MONEY:
She’s a spend thrift and great at spending yours

LARGE FRAME:
Over weight

LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
He gets drunk every time he goes out

LOTS OF FUN AT PARTIES:
Often makes an ass of herself

LOOKING FOR MR/MRS RIGHT:
Looking for Mr/Ms Rich

LOOKS AND DRESSES LIKE A MODEL:
She’s five eleven and weighs seventy-three pounds

LOVES CHILDREN:
She’s pregnant and needs a husband

NEW AGE:
Body hair in the wrong places

OPEN MINDED:
Desperate

OUTGOING:
Loud and embarrassing

PASSIONATE:
REALLY horny.

READY TO SETTLE DOWN:
She’s thirty-five, in a state of panic, and dying to marry

ROMANTIC:
Horny

STRONG FAMILY TIES:
He’s a Mafia God

THE OUTDOOR TYPE:
She hunts, fishes, chews tobacco, just like the guys

UNDERSTANDS MEN:
She’s been married and divorced four times

UNINHIBITED:
Lacking basic social skills

WANTS SOUL MATE:
Stalker

YOUNG AT HEART:
Over 50

YOUTHFUL:
Over 50 and in major denial

40-ish:
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